Quote for today

You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me. In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England

~ C. S. Lewis

read more quotes on C.S.Lewis Daily

Quote for the week

To speak to God on behalf of man

is probably the highest service any of us can render.

The rest is to speak to men in the name of Jesus.

Either is possible through His grace.

Corrie ten Boom

Quotes for the week

Today I want to share with you some quotes from C.S.Lewis (1898-1963), a former atheist, author of the Chronicles of Narnia:

I gave in, and admitted that God was God.

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God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.

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If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

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A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.

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Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.

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Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

(from BrainyQuote.com)

Quote for the day * Zitat des Tages

What would you do today if you knew God absolutely loved you? God knows the answer to this question will lead you further into his life than the striving of religion ever can.

from “He loves me!” by Wayne Jacobson, p 152.

***

Was würdest du heute tun wenn du wüßtest dass Gott dich unumschränkt liebt? Gott weiß, dass die Antwort auf diese Frage dich weiter in sein Leben hinein führt als das religiöse Streben es jemals könnte.

aus “Geliebt” von Wayne Jacobsen (eigene Übersetzung).

God’s secret * Gottes Geheimnis

As I mentioned in my last post my thoughts often wander to the question why God might have called Richard home, so young and in the middle of a wonderful ministry. Also during the annual women’s retreat which I attended from Friday to Sunday, my thoughts often drifted away. For example, during the worship time I suddenly had the thought that Richard might now be playing the piano in God’s presence. But this reminded me again of Melanie’s loss. And with it returned the pain and the shock of what had happened.

Eventually, the Lord spoke to me on Saturday through a verse in Deuteronomy 29:29.

There are secret things that belong to the LORD our God, but the revealed things belong to us and our descendants forever, so that we may obey these words of the law.

In plain language, it means that the secrets belong to the Lord, and the revelation is for us, and we are only responsible for the things that have been revealed to us, not for what we don’t know. I realized that there are simply things that God does not reveal to us, and then it is not my job/responsibility to brood over them. I can think about them for a long time but it won’t get me anywhere. I will only waste my time and energy. Why Richard has died is one of these questions. I realized that I had to stop my thoughts from going in this direction. I have to let go of this question, trusting in God’s wisdom and accept that God won’t reveal to us everything that we would like to know.

Later that day God showed me another application of the same verse – in the context of several difficult situations of a colleague. I realized that in each of these situations it would have been nice to have the full picture. But it would be even more important for her to ask the Lord what he wanted her to do, and leave the rest (the secrets) in his hand. When we do this, it frees us for the things for which we are really responsible. I was able to encourage her along these lines and the Lord spoke to her also through the verse.

***

Wie ich im letzten Eintrag erwähnte, wandern meine Gedanken immer wieder zu der Frage, warum Gott wohl Richard so jung und mitten aus dem Dienst heimgeholt hat. Auch auf der Frauenkonferenz, die ich von Freitag bis Sonntag besucht habe, schweiften meine Gedanken immer wieder ab. So kam mir bei der Anbetungszeit der Gedanke, dass Richard nun vielleicht in Gottes Gegenwart Klavier spielt. Aber das erinnerte mich wieder an Melanies Verlust. Damit kam der Schmerz wieder und die Erschütterung über das was geschehen ist.

Schließlich sprach Gott am Samstag zu mir durch einen Vers in 5.Mose 29,28:

Seinen verborgenen Plan kennt der HERR, unser Gott, allein; aber seinen Willen hat er uns und unseren Nachkommen für alle Zeiten klar und deutlich verkündet, damit wir stets nach den Geboten leben, die er uns in diesem Gesetzbuch gegeben hat.

Vereinfacht ausgedrückt – Gott gehören die Geheimnisse, uns gehört die Offenbarung, und wir sind dafür verantwortlich wie wir mit dem Offenbarten umgehen, nicht für das was Gott uns nicht gezeigt hat. Mir wurde dadurch klar, dass es einfach Dinge gibt, die Gott uns nicht offenbart, und es ist nicht unsere Aufgabe/Verantwortung, über diese Geheimnisse nachzudenken. Ich kann noch solange darüber grübeln, aber ich werde auf keinen grünen Zweig kommen, sondern nur meine Zeit und Kraft vergeuden. Dazu gehört auch die Frage warum Richard gestorben ist. In diesem Sinn musste ich einsehen, dass ich diese offene Frage im Vertrauen auf Gottes Weisheit loslassen muss und akzeptieren, dass Gott uns nicht alles offenbart, was wir gerne wissen würden.

Etwas später am gleichen Tag zeigte mir Gott noch eine andere Anwendung von dem Vers – es ging um mehrere schwierige Situationen einer Kollegin. In jeder dieser Situationen wäre es schön, den Durchblick zu haben. Aber noch wichtiger ist für sie danach zu fragen, was der Herr will, dass sie tut, und den Rest (die Geheimnisse) in Gottes Hand zu lassen. Wenn wir das tun, werden wir freier für das was wirklich unsere Verantwortung ist. Ich konnte sie in diesem Sinne ermutigen und der Herr sprach auch zu ihr durch den Vers.

Problems reconsidered

Based on what I wrote in the last two posts (Eyes to see and Good or evil?), I decided to look at some past events and reevaluate them in the light of this new perspective. What if the criterion for something being good or bad, is not depending on my subjective feeling or likening of it, but on God’s presence or absence? This really does change things.

• Looking back I realized that I have experienced a very good example two years ago: I had a really bad car accident but because of God’s obvious presence at every turn I never perceived it as traumatic. Of course, it was not fun that the car was badly damaged and that I arrived at my destination three months later than planned. But there were so many details during this day where I could see God’s hand that I felt at peace in the midst of it all. There were no bad dreams, no problems starting to drive again, no trauma despite it being a traumatic event. Some people could not even believe me and thought it will come later, but it did not. This was really amazing and cannot be explained except through God’s protection.

• This car accident was only the most obvious problem I had. There were so many other problems that I can’t even count them. All these happened during the course of not even two years which became what I later labeled as the most difficult time on the field. It was such an accumulation of problems that those few who knew all the details could only say, “no wonder!” that I ended up being emotionally exhausted.
  What about them? Are they good or evil according to these criteria? None of them felt ‘good’ to me, non fit in my plans, or matched my ideas of what should have happened. There was a lot of pain and powerlessness. Despite all of this, at one point I realized that I had been secure in God’s love during the whole time. None of the problems brought me to the point where I questioned God’s love for me. For me this was a huge step forward and a result of God’s healing during the previous year. Combining this experience and the latest reflections, I have to reconsider my labels for this time and the individual situations. OK, they were difficult. That does not change. I am not yet there to call them ‘good’ but it seems that I am slowly moving in this direction. I know God was there with me, and many situations brought me into more dependence on the Lord. So, I guess, this is a good thing.

• A last small example of how this perspective can be helpful: On my recent vacation I went with a Swiss colleague and a German family to a reservoir south of Bamako. We all were really looking forward to swimming. To our great disappointment, we discovered early the first morning that the swimming pool was out of order. What a bummer! Most of us were really upset and we considered cutting our stay short, trying to find another place with a working swimming pool. In the middle of this disappointment I was reminded of what I had been reading about good and bad. This helped me to hold back any angry judgment (the owner should have told us, why does God bring us here for nothing?, etc) but trust that God has good plans for his children. This helped me to have peace, a positive outlook, a quiet expectation, thinking – I wonder what are God’s good plans in this and how he will use it for good? Even before lunch time we discovered that it is safe to swim in the lake because the water quality is regularly checked (so no danger of getting bilharzia). And this we did to our heart’s content for the rest of the time. It was so much nicer to swim in the lake but we would not have dared had we not been forced to consider this option.

God’s plans are good even if they are painful and not always what we would prefer! And I am so thankful that I am learning to see things from a different perspective.

Good or evil?

The following quotes are part of the conversation in “The Shack“ (pp 134-136) that I intentionally left out in my last post. God explains there to Mac why our parameters for deciding what is good and what is evil are often wrong.

“Evil is the word we use to describe the absence of Good, just as we use the word darkness to describe the absence of Light or death to describe the absence of Life. Both evil and darkness can only be understood in relation to Light and Good; they do not have any actual existence. I am Light and I am Good. I am Love and there is no darkness in me. Light and Good actually exist. So, removing yourself from me will plunge you into darkness. Declaring independence will result in evil because apart from me, you can only draw upon yourself. This is death because you have separated yourself from me: Life.”

I have contemplated this a lot and found it really helpful. As long as we discern good and evil based on our subjective feelings and perception, we will often get it wrong and miss how “bad” things can be “good” for us. And this in turn will undermine our trust in God. Only when we understand that God’s presence makes something good and his absence makes something evil, can we understand that “in one instance, the good may be the presence of cancer or the loss of income – or even a life.”

It is often the hard things that drive us into God’s presence, mold our character and transform us into his image. Unfortunately, difficult times seem to be the only way we learn and experience transformation.

This also sheds a different light on our pursuit of independance. Being independent from God removes us from the Vine. We are called to remain in Him, abide in Him, because apart from Him we can do nothing. (John 15:5) A well known passage, but how often do we manage to put it into practice?

What does it mean to practice it? Here is what Mac heard God say to him about this:

“You must give up your right to decide what is good and evil in your own terms. This is a hard pill to swallow; choosing to only live in me. To do that you know me enough to trust me and learn to rest in my inherent goodness.”

So this brings us back to the issue of trust. If we decide on our own what is good and bad, we easily come to the conclusion God is not trustworthy. Or as Wayne Jacobson puts it – we practice a “Daisy Pedal Christianity” (He loves me!) going back and forth between “God loves me” and “God loves me not” depending on whether things happening in our life are “good” or “bad” according to our subjective perception. Whenever we don’t like what is happening to us, we conclude that God does not love us, instead of looking for the good God intended with it.

I know, it is not easy to apply this in some extreme situations, but why not start with every day situations and try to see them through God’s eyes? I have been mulling over this topic for some time. It was a pleasant surprise recently, when I experienced a very disappointing situation and in the middle of it was able to hold back on my subjective judgment, but trust that God has good plans for his children. (More about it in a future post)

Quote for the day

“Why do so many enjoy striving for God’s acceptance, even after he went to such lengths to prove it was already ours? Perhaps they feel more secure if they think they can control the relationship. Perhaps they’re afraid that if they no longer have to earn his acceptance they’ll find themselves using grace as an excuse to pursue their selfish desires. Perhaps they don’t want a relationship with him at all, they simply want his help when they hurt and the coveted get-out-of-hell-free card.”

“If you have never known the joy of simply living in God’s acceptance instead of trying to earn it, your most exciting days in Christ are ahead of you. People who learn to live out of a genuine love relationship with the God of the universe will live in more power, more joy, and more righteousness than anyone motivated by fear of his judgment.”

From the chapter: “Trying to earn points with somebody who is no longer keeping score” in “He loves me!” by Wayne Jacobson

[Die deutsche Übersetzung kommt frühestens morgen. Oder kann sie mir jemand liefern, der das deutsche Buch hat?]

Language of the heart

Over the last week I pondered what theme I should choose for the worship in our English speaking service this evening. Several songs that the Lord brought to my mind had a similar topic – God as our refuge in times of troubles. When I took another look at the song texts I was surprised to see that basically all of them

- use words taken from the Psalms, and

- include some kind of imagery, describing God as our shelter, a fortress, a refuge, a safe tower, a high rock, a hiding place, an armor, a shield, – and my favorite one – the shadow of his wings.

This reminded me of something I had heard from Leanne Payne – symbols are the language of our heart. They speak to us in a deep way that no heady teaching can.

No wonder that these songs usually speak to me. Praise the Lord for those Psalm writers who first crafted the words out of their own experience, and for the song writers who used them for these songs!

One of my favorite songs is the following from Hillsongs Australia:

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty Hand.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father, You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

Praying that it blesses you, too.

Fear or love

I just started reading “He loves me!” by Wayne Jacobsen. In the third chapter he brings up the question of what motivates us to follow Jesus – fear of hell or love for God. Unfortunately, it is true that there are many people who believe that a clearer vision of hell would motivate us to be more mission-minded. In the past this approach to evangelism has probably worked fine. But it is a pertinent question what kind of Christian this approach will produce when their conversion happens out of fear of hell.

When I thought back of my own conversion experience, I realized that fear of hell was not a major factor, but fear to miss out on something important all the more. This was partly rooted in the drawing that the evangelist showed me (which I found very helpful and have often used myself) – the broad road leading away from God, no matter whether it is paved with small or big sins, on the other side the narrow road that leads to God, and the door that connects the two roads – Jesus, the door to eternal life. At that time it really seemed to me as if this doorframe was throwing its shadow on my path, inviting me to change my direction of life. A unique chance? Maybe. Nobody can know when there will be another situation where God speaks into our lives and touches our hearts.

Unfortunately, I also realized that, there is a pattern in my life. I had to admit that there are things in my life that are often motivated by fear to miss out on something. Who knows when I will get this opportunity again? In this way, I often cram things into my life, that are not beneficial and are causing needless stress. But one does not want to miss out on things, right?

Along a similar line was the fear to miss God’s will for my life – if I don’t listen well enough, I might miss it and then take the wrong path. Then I might have to travel on the wrong track for the rest of my life and would miss God’s blessings and the fullness of life. <ironic>

When I think about it, I realize that these patterns of thought are – or better – were in my life. I notice that they don’t quite fit with how I experienced God during the last few years. Of course, there are situations were we might miss something important because we can’t make up our minds or we procrastinate a decision. But God does not motivate us through fear. Through the Life Model I became more aware over the last two years about the difference between love-based and fear-based relationships. As a result this kind of situation happens less and I am thankful for it.

What can I learn from this? Wherever my motivation is rooted in fear, most likely it does not come from my heavenly Daddy. I want to learn to be even more sensitive to this and realize earlier when I am driven by fear instead of motivated by love (which reminds me of the book “Getrieben oder Berufen” meaning “Driven or Called” which is the German title for “Ordering Your Private World” by Gordon MacDonald).

God is not interested in our sacrifices but in our obedience, one out of love, for who he is, out of joy over our relationship with him, and because this relationship is precious to us.